Shadows Don't Lie
by Dreamless Insomniac
Summary: Sometimes secrets get out of control. Sometimes the only evidence is a shadow. JH
1. Prologue

_Shadows Don't Lie_

**Summary**: _Sometimes secrets get out of control. Sometimes the only evidence is a shadow._ J/H

**Disclaimer**: Nope, I don't own any of the characters or their rights or the show or whatever. Basically I just do this for fun. Big shocker for everyone, huh? ;)

**A/N**: First of all, thank you for all the positive feedback on my other fic, I really do appreciate it. It has given me the courage to post this one too. I do love to write depressing fics, so I'm just warning ya! I still hope you'll read it, but I want it to feel realistic, and not just all lovey dovey, because I find those sometimes to be… too fairytale. I don't know, I just love writing angst I think, lol. So anyway, please enjoy, and **please** continue to leave me reviews, because it really does keep me going. I don't know how often I'm going to be updating, just because school starts again on Tuesday, so I'm hoping every few days. Okay, if you're still reading this very long A/N you rock, so keep on reading J

**Rating**: I'm going to say PG-13 to R, but never higher. Basically, you can kind of get a feel of what the story's going to be like from the prologue and first chapter, so if it's not your cup of tea, that's fine.

_**Background**: Kind of AU. Basically, Jackie and Kelso didn't break up until the end of season 6. He ran off somewhere that summer, and Jackie and Hyde started to hook up on occasion. Basically, they've been off and on secretly since then for about three years. No one knows about them. All the gang is on good terms, yada yada yada… and so the story begins._

_Prologue_

So rarely do two souls connect with such passion, such a mission.

A beautiful tragedy lay entangled under the roof. The tragedy held an unknown love, a hunger for meaning, a desire for closeness, just something to hold on to.

Someone.

Callused fingers absorbed long raven locks. Endless eyes engulfed one another. Sweat dripped from one lost body to another.

A need for completion. A desire for beauty. A yearning for emotion. A longing for something, anything.

The two souls found a solace in each other.

Their love was an obscurity to the world. They knew no significance except for each other.

A secret affair was something neither of them ever knew before. It was more then an affair, it was finding someone. A companion. A lover. A friend. Someone they could trust, someone who was always there, a dependent. They had never in their lives held such a reliance for anyone, as they held for each other.

Quietly, they loved, together in the dark night.

No one saw.

No one knew.

The only thing that was for sure was they were invested far beyond original intentions.

Slowly, they drifted to sleep, entangled under the damp sheets. Two pairs of eyes slowly shut.

When they woke, one final kiss sealed their love.

Only their shadows remained.


	2. Chapter 1: Need to Feel Something

_Chapter One- Need to Feel Something _

Jackie Burkhart stared at her fiancé.

Fiancé.

How did she become in engaged again? Did she really ever remember saying that one little word that forever changed her life? How could she have said yes?

She stared at the glimmering rock shining on her hand. The large diamond was almost bigger than her whole entire hand, and the band of tiny blue sapphires that surrounded it in platinum went around her whole ring finger. The ring was ostentatious and ridiculous, everything her parents loved.

Everything her fiancé loved.

Christopher Marlow was not an ordinary man, at least according to her father. He was elite and had power in the world. His father was a rich politician in Washington D.C. and Christopher was considered one of the most eligible bachelor's in the whole country.

So how did a girl from Wisconsin win his 'love'?

She honestly didn't know.

It all started that summer Michael had ditched her for California. Heartbroken, she stayed a hermit in her house all summer. Donna was in California, and after weeks of moping, Eric went after her. Fez, well, Fez was Fez. And Hyde.

Well, Hyde was Steven.

He would always be her Steven.

She smiled thinking of him. Of the way his eyes could make her need him without even touching her. How his fingers slowly dragged across her skin. His lips gently graced her collarbone slowly towards her lips.

When they finally met together, she was complete.

She shook herself out of her trance and saw the many people that surrounded her. Christopher stood next to her with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, her parents grinning flakily next to them. She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes a million times over and tried to appear happy.

Inside anxiety plagued her.

Jackie excused herself from the group and went upstairs into her bathroom. She opened the drawer under the sink and dug towards the back and found a small container. She pulled it out and produced a small blade.

A smile appeared on her face.

She hiked her skirt back and slowly drew the blade against her smooth skin and let out a little cackle.

And she bled away all of her sorrows for the moment.

_i.i.i._

By the time she walked downstairs, the guests were sufficiently drunk.

She saw her fiancé talking up a busty blonder and he touched her hair and laughed at something stupid, she was sure. She sighed deeply and discovered, if she disappeared, no one would notice. She went towards the where her jacket was and then grabbed her purse with her car keys.

She walked outside and the bitter January air scratched her skin roughly.

Getting in her car, her direction was clear. She found herself pulling up to the Forman's house, her home since she could remember.

As she neared the door to the basement, she heard laughter erupt. A smile fell upon her face, a genuine smile, something so rare. She opened the door and saw all of their heads turn, but she always saw him first.

His sunglasses were on, his protection from the world.

"Jackie!" Fez yelled running up to hug her tightly.

She grinned, "Hi Fez."

"Where the hell have you been lately?" Donna asked.

Jackie stood there for a moment. They all knew. They knew she was engaged. They knew she was unhappy. They all knew this, but they overlooked it, because, they did not want to acknowledge that their bubbly Jackie was anything but happy.

Everyone except Steven.

"You know how crazy it is, my parents are throwing this grand party tonight, but I thought, you know, I really miss my friends. So, even though they tried desperately to beg me to stay, I chose to be with all of you." She said cheekily.

And they all bought it. All except one.

He knew she didn't choose. He knew that she did miss them, but there was no fight involved with her parents. He knew they probably had no idea that she was even gone. He wondered if she ever missed him as much as she made it sound.

He hoped she missed him at that much.

He didn't know for sure.

So they all engaged in playful banter for a few hours till Kelso's brilliant plan to get stoned arose. Big grins spread across all of their faces; Jackie's was the biggest.

She had never smoked much pot until a few years ago. She hadn't done a lot of things she did until a few years ago. Smoke cigarettes. Smoke pot. Do shots every night. Cut herself. Starve herself.

Who would know though?

No one wanted to see a weak little girl.

So she hid.

_i.i.i._

She stood outside the basement in the bitter January air. Holding her jacket around herself tightly she took a long drag of her cigarette.

It was funny, Red or Kitty would never notice if they smoked weed, but the second a whiff of a cigarette was suspected, they were all sat down for about an hour talk. Mostly Red telling them how he would stick his foot up their ass.

She felt a set of warm lips again her frozen porcelain skin and the tiniest smile appeared on her face.

He grabbed the cigarette from her fingers and took a drag.

As he exhaled, he said, "You know, these things can really kill you." He raised his eyebrow and his trademark smirk lingered on his face.

"Why thank you for that insightful thought, Mr. Hyde." She smirked back at him and stole her cigarette back.

"Ehh, I didn't want it anyway, you buy the crappy kind." He replied back.

"Lovely, all the more for me." She said.

He leaned back against the wall of the Foreman's house and pulled out his own cigarette to light. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until he broke the silence, "So, why'd you really come here."

She avoided his eyes, "I already told you."

"And you should know that bullshit won't work with me." He replied back smoothly.

"Steven, I don't want to talk about this right now." She said annoyed while throwing her cigarette to the ground and stepping on it.

"Well Jackie, what the hell are we supposed to talk about?" He asked. There was no anger in his voice, just blankness.

"You don't have to save me." She barely squeaked back. Her voice was meager and her body was limp.

He took another slow drag of his cigarette and then stepped on it to put it out. "Then stop asking me to." He whispered in her ear.

He turned to walk back into the basement when he heard her say, "I never asked you to save me." Her voice held such resentment, she didn't ever asked for help and she didn't plan on starting now.

He sighed softly, "Not every cry for help is done with words Jacks."

Then he walked back into the basement, leaving her in the snow alone once more.

_i.i.i._

**Please, please leave me a review, I will adore you forever! I don't have a beta, so I apologize for any horrible grammar or spelling mistakes, they're not my forte in writing.**


	3. Chapter 2: An Interrogation

**Yes, I'm updating, but this will probably be it until Friday night or Saturday. I hope you like this chapter, I revised it like twenty times!**

_Chapter Two- An Interrogation_

She waited a few minutes. She knew he was right, and yet would never admit it, not once to him.

He had seen her scars.

But, not once, did he mention it. When he would arrive at one of her branded marks on her skin, he would simply leave a soft sweet kiss there. How much they communicated without words.

She should have known.

She walked into the basement to find the gang in their circle. _The Circle_. It had become one of her favorite parts of the basement. They all looked up at her expectedly. Steven had his sunglasses back on, and was 'Zen.'

How she hate him when he acted like that.

Besides the obvious fact that she was technically cheating, the only problem with their _relationship_, if you could even call it that, was the fact that no one in the gang knew. And this seemed to plague her even more than the fact that she was cheating.

And it frustrated her.

She expected that she could tell Donna about them and he would tell the guys, but neither of them did. It seemed to be this unspoken rule. And that's when she hated the silence in their relationship. She had hoped that they could steal away kisses or they could be affectionate towards each other when they were with their friends.

But she couldn't.

So he stared at her and then held up a joint. "Well?" he asked.

Well, fuck it then, she was going to get high and drink and be happy as hell. Even if she couldn't touch him.

An hour passed, and then Kelso decided that doing shots to see who could do the most would be tons of fun. It was after all a Friday night and they had nowhere to go.

She thought about what she ate today and how many shots she should do. Her salad might not be sufficient enough for this kind of activity. But she couldn't let them know that she couldn't do shots, because then they would want to know what was wrong.

Steven would know he was right.

Kelso placed a shot of vodka in front of each one of them and they all did one.

And it went right to her head.

At ninety-five pounds, a shot of vodka with no food might not have been the best idea, but she loved the feeling, because she could release herself. Despite her better judgment, she did two more.

And then she almost passed out when she fell to the ground off of her chair.

_i.i.i._

"Jackie? Jackie, come on, get up." Steven said into her ear.

Her eyes popped wide open to see five faces staring at her. Eric gave a sigh of relief, "Thank the fucking lord." He exhaled collapsing into the couch. "Red would have seriously murdered me."

Jackie felt embarrassed and tried to get up but realized how dizzy she was.

"Damn Jackie, what's wrong with you, I've seen you do plenty more than this!" Kelso shouted.

Hyde looked at her worriedly. She was the only one who noticed though; he was never an obvious kind of guy. "Guys, I'm fine, I have no idea why you're worried! I just did them to fast. You all seem to forget that you all have a good twenty to thirty pounds on me." She paused for a moment. "Well of course, except you Eric."

They all laughed, except Eric who pouted on the couch and Hyde who continued to look at her with concern.

"Look, I have to get home, I'm just gonna go." She said quickly.

"Like hell you are!" Hyde said.

"Stev-" she corrected herself quickly, "Hyde, seriously, I'm fine."

"Well at least sleep a little off man." He said returning Zen. "You can sleep in my room and we'll wake you up in an hour."

"Yeah, Hyde's right, you're in no condition to drive or go home to a house full of people." Donna added in.

Hyde grabbed her arm, and helped her to his room shutting the door behind him.

She passed out backwards onto his bed and smiled up drunkenly at him. He did not look amused though as he pulled up a seat next to his bed.

"What the fuck Jacks?" he asked seriously.

"Steven, just let loose, have fun." She said giggling. She pulled herself up to his lips and kissed him, making him forget for one moment, that he was pissed and worried about her. She grinned against his lips and then he pulled away.

"Yum, pot and cigs." She said happily.

"Go to sleep." He said as he pulled the blanket over her body.

_i.i.i._

"So what's up with our girl?" Donna asked with an alcohol-induced grin on her face.

"She's fine." He said. He sat on his chair and stared blankly up at the TV.

"Come one Hyde, you guys spend all this time together, and despite the fact you say you 'hate her more than the government,' we know you care about her like you care about any of us." Eric stated.

"_More than you."_ Hyde thought to himself.

He stared at Eric, and then walked outside to light another cigarette. He sat on the steps and contemplated what the hell he was doing.

She was **engaged**. He knew this, if there was anything he hated, it was to have such a dependence on someone and then have it torn away. He was doing this to himself; he was only creating his own heartache.

He felt like he needed to be there. He didn't know why, he never felt like that about anyone. Sure, he loved his friends like brothers and sisters, but it was different with Jackie.

Why was Jackie so different?

He heard the door open behind him and Donna appeared in the door. The tall red head stepped next to him and then took a seat, joining him on the basement steps with a beer in hand. He pulled out his carton of cigarettes and offered her one but she declined.

He lit up and looked at her.

"What's up Hyde?" she asked seriously.

"Man, we've already been through this." He said with frustration running his fingers through his hair.

"Look, the rest of those idiots may be able to accept the fact that you say something is fine and really something is wrong, but I can't. Maybe it's the girl in me, as much as Jackie denies there is any to me." She looked at his face, waiting for a reaction when she said Jackie, but he had been working his Zen for too many years to have something little like that make him all bent out of shape.

"Hyde, you're one of my best friends. I mean, I've known you since you used to come over here and throw eggs at my dad's hair with Eric in kindergarten." With that comment she provoked a slight chuckle from deep inside his throat.

"Yeah man, I don't know where you come from." He said. "You're parents aren't the brightest people in the world."

She rolled her eyes at him. "So, what is up with you and Jackie?"

He took another long drag of his cigarette and looked at her with slight defeat. "You better not splurge this shit to Foreman, you might be a girl, but I still will hurt you."

Donna gave a slight smile, there was the angry, hating-the-government Hyde she knew. "You know I won't."

"Jackie and I have been sleeping together." He said with a monotone voice.

Donna's eyes became extremely wide as managed to hoarse out in a raspy voice, "What?"

His eyes, that had lost their guard, which lay clipped to his shirt, gave her a look. His eyebrows were slightly raised and then he turned his head away and took another long drag of his cigarette, exhaling all of the secrecy he had been hiding for these three long years.

"Hold on, you, Steven Hyde, you… oh my god." She paused for a moment to regain a sane mind. "You and Jackie."

He smirked, "And I thought you knew all along. Figured Jackie would let it slip somehow."

"Hyde, what the hell?" she asked half angry and half confused. "She's getting married and you, well, you just hate everything she likes and you two have nothing in common. It's like the most unnatural thing I've ever heard in my life."

"Oh, because you and Foreman are the picture perfect couple. Carol and Mike Brady. I mean except of course, he would play the wife."

"Stop joking around." She said sternly, but had to smile slightly. "You just couldn't give up a good burn, could you?" she asked with slight amusement in her voice.

"Never, especially about Foreman."

"So, like, how long have you been sleeping together?"

He looked at her and became semi-serious. "Well, the first time we slept together, was about three years ago after Kelso ditched her. But that was just off and on, but I guess we've been 'serious', if you can even call it that, for about a year."

"So, you guys were like, 'together' before the engagement, before she even met Christopher?" She asked in confusion.

"Yep." He said smoothly. He took one last drag of his cigarette and threw it to the ground.

"Wait, but then why…?" Donna stopped mid-sentence.

"Why did she say yes? Because I told her to. Look, there's a lot of crap you still don't know about, and this just makes it easier for now." He said looking at the steps.

"That's so like you, take the easy way out." Donna said half disgusted. "So what, you use her to sleep with her and then send her home to hubby so she can put on the show. Yeah, that's real great Hyde!"

He could sense her anger, but wasn't about to become worked up over it. "Look man, don't get pissed at me, okay? I'm opening up my heart here." He said with a slight smile. "Any decision about anything to do with our 'weird and unnatural relationship' has been made by Jackie and me, **together**."

She paused, and realized he was done talking for now. This was more than she had gotten out of Hyde in years, and decided to accept what he gave her. She looked one of her best friends up and down, not recognizing him. "She's not going home tonight, is she?"

He shook his head and got up from the steps, "Look, I can't let her."

Donna looked up and him. "You can't let her go home to him?" She asked.

"No, I can't let her be hurt again. I just, I don't want her to have to face everything tonight, especially with her state of mind."

Donna looked up at him surprised and stood up, "You, actually care for her, don't you?"

"Yeah man." He said, once again defeated by Donna's interrogation. "Don't think I like all this caring stuff or anything. It's just…" And then he paused and looked at her half sad and half happy, if it was possible.

Something in his eyes made Donna understand. So she nodded and threw her beer can into the garbage and gave him a quick hug.

And then they walked back inside, leaving their conversation on the steps where it would not be mentioned again.

_i.i.i._

**I hope you like the story so far. I know there wasn't a lot of J/H interaction, but I thought Hyde and Donna's conversation was really important, I hope you agree. I don't really think you can get anything romantic from their conversation, but I can promise you, even if you did, there is not going to be any D/H in this, romantically anyway. I mean they are friends. Next chapter, though, I promise there will be lots of J/H.**

**Thanks for reading guys; I really appreciate all of the nice reviews you've left me! You all are amazing and give me the confidence to keep on writing.**


	4. Chapter 3: Hidden Away

_Chapter Three: Hidden Away_

**A/N**: _First of all, I'm so completely sorry about how long this took to get out. I've had some serious writer's block and need some time to figure out where I'm going with this story, but I promise I won't abandon it. Thank you so much too **all** of my wonderful reviewers, you guys are wonderful and thank you for being so patient in waiting for this next chapter. It's kind of short and more of a filler, but there is J/H in it, so hopefully, I have done their characters justice. Okay, if you're still reading this, I'm amazed, lol. Enjoy!_

_**1.22.06 – Just made a few grammar corrections I found when I re-read it on I thought I had caught them all, but I guess not, sorry guys!**_

_.i.i.i.i._

Later that night, Hyde walked into his room. All was quiet in the house he had called home for so many years now. He could easily afford at this point in his life his own apartment and being living rather fabulously, but he couldn't bring himself to move out the Forman's house.

There was something about waking in the morning to Mrs. Forman's huge breakfast she had prepared for the day and Red's scowl that really didn't reveal his love for all the damn kids that hung around his house every day. There was just something about the Forman house that made Hyde find himself drawn to it.

It was his home.

He saw the raven hair girl sprawled out fast asleep on his bed. He smiled thoughtfully as he saw her clenching tightly to his blue comforter. When Laurie had moved out of the house for good, the Foreman's had given Hyde her bed. Jackie insisted that now he was making money at his dad's record company he should at least buy a decent bedspread and sheets. He finally gave in, and even let her pick out which colors she liked best.

It was times like this he wondered what the hell they were doing. Why were they still secret? Why did he tell her to marry him? Questions that seemed to have such logical answers when the sun was up and not have any answers when the moon was at its peak during the night.

He went into his dresser to grab a pair of sweatpants to sleep in when he heard, "Steven?"

He looked at her and said softly, "Go back to sleep Jackie."

She blinked her eyes a few times quickly to wake herself up a little. "Can I have a t-shirt?"

He scanned her and realized that she was still in her dress that she had arrived in. He searched through his drawers and found 'her' Grateful Dead t-shirt. She alternated between that and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that were way to small to fit him anymore. He pulled it out of the drawer and gave it to her and then walked upstairs to the bathroom to wash up.

Jackie threw her dress to the floor and then pulled the t-shirt over her head. She loved the smell of his clothes, it was liked she was engulfed inside of him. She plopped back down on the bed and snuggled in deep under the comforter and closed her eyes lightly. She began to wonder, wonder if anyone finally figured out what was really going on.

How couldn't they?

She sighed deeply; she could only imagine the torture of the dinner party tomorrow night. She hadn't understood why her parents were throwing so many parties. Why were they so determined to make her life miserable? Then she thought of Christopher.

His bright blond hair slicked back my greasy gel. His ferocious looking dark brown eyes. The smirk that graced his face every time her saw her. She felt so bare, so naked, when he looked her up and down.

She knew what he wanted.

And it scared her.

"Jackie?" She heard Hyde's voice and looked up.

"Hey." She said meekly. They looked at each other for a moment, not knowing quite what to say. "Look, I'm really sorry about tonight."

"You don't need to apologize." He said. He walked around to his side of the bed and laid down on his back resting his hands behind his neck. Jackie rolled over onto her elbow and stared him down in his eyes.

"Steven, I don't know what to do anymore." She whispered sadly.

He pulled her close to him and sighed deeply. "Look, I told Donna about us."

She pushed herself up and looked at him surprised. "What?"

"I couldn't lie to her man, we were just talking and it kind of came up. She's not going to say anything."

Jackie stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Okay." She whispered disappearing back into a pillow as she plopped on her back. They sat for a few minutes in silence until she rolled over on top of him, his eyes opened wide.

"Do you promise you'll love me if I marry him?" she asked. There were no tears, there was no melodramatic music, just she and he and the essence of the night.

He only looked at her before connecting his lips with hers.

"Jacks, I couldn't stop if I wanted to."

_.i.i.i.i._

She woke up the next morning at 6:42AM. She lay in his arms and sighed. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and then dragged herself out of bed. She threw her clothes back on from the night before and then wrote him a quick note.

She stood in the door, staring at his face.

Then she left.

Her drive home that morning was something rather familiar. She could still feel him on her and recalled there night of hot and steamy sex.

Somehow she could never bring herself to call it lovemaking.

Maybe, it was because that's what she used to call what she and Michael had done. She wanted to leave everything about that relationship in the past, including small little words.

Maybe, it was because she was too insecure to believe that anyone could truly love her.

But she knew deep in her soul that it really wasn't any of those reasons.

It was simply that she hated the word.

While she hadn't completely abandoned her old self in her transformation these past few years, she had lost her silly ideals of love and the world. She was a more cynical Jackie. She puffed lightly on her cigarette before pulling into the driveway.

She threw it on the ground and stepped on it.

Just another part of her life that was hidden from the world.

_.i.i.i.i._

_**Please, please, please leave me a review. They encourage me to keep going. Thanks for reading so far!**_


	5. Chapter 4: Irises

_Chapter Four: Irises_

The silence in the Burkhart home was eerie and made Jackie shiver.

It was more than the normal solitude and depression the mansion held.

She shut the front door and kicked her clogs onto the mat in front of the door. She hung her jacket on a hook and then turned around to see a man with a mask staring at her.

She screamed but for a moment until he grabbed her, covered her mouth and dragged her into the living room.

There, her mother, her father, Christopher, and three other guests she had never seen in her life were shot dead.

She could not have made a sound if she wanted to from the shock.

And she knew right then, that there was no escaping.

_.i.i.i._

Hyde sat in the circle with Donna, Eric, and Kelso. Fez had run off screaming about some candy sale at the drug store because it was after Valentines Day. Hyde smiled thoughtfully when he remembered that day only a week before.

_Valentine's Day…_

"_Steven!" he heard Jackie's voice yell through his room._

"_I'm in here." He yelled back._

_She walked in and smiled at him. "So, are you gonna take me out or what?"_

"_I was thinking we would stay in." He said._

_She frowned, "Why won't you ever take me anywhere?"_

"_Because I have something else planned here." He said._

_She jumped on the bed and hugged him. "You're actually going to do something for me for Valentine's Day? You're most hated government holiday? Oh Steven, that's best gift you could have ever given me." He noticed the sparkle in her eyes through his rose tinted glasses. Her grateful grin was enough to convince him that succumbing to another government inspired holiday was all right as long as a smile was on her face._

_He kissed her cheek and got up off the bed. "I'll be right back, okay?"_

_She nodded and then fell back on his bed grabbing the latest issue of Rolling Stone that he had been reading._

_He walked upstairs into the kitchen where he found what he was looking for sitting safely on the kitchen table. He sighed in relief that Eric or Mrs. Forman had not been home since he had come home that afternoon. Grabbing the item off the table, he walked back down the stairs to the basement._

_In his room, there she laid, her raven curls sprawled across his pillow. Her porcelain skin glistened against the candle incenses he was burning, just for her._

"_Here." He said._

_Her aqua-marine pools grew larger than he had ever seen them. "Irises? Oh my god, Steven, how did you know?" she whispered in excitement._

"_I just did."_

_She ran up to him and kissed him gently._

"_Thanks for celebrating Valentine's Day." She whispered._

He gave her a small smile and set the irises down on his dresser before falling on top of her onto his bed…

"Hyde!" Kelso shouted.

"What man? God, don't be so loud, were in the circle." Hyde said back.

"Dude, you've been zoned out for like five minutes, I wanted to make sure you didn't fall asleep with your eyes open or something."

Hyde rolled his eyes. He loved Kelso like his brother, but man, he seemed to be getting stupider by the day. "No, I didn't fall asleep."

"Good, because we're gonna play have you ever… with alcohol." Kelso said with a goofy grin on his face producing a bottle of vodka.

Hyde looked at Donna. "Man, why did you let him think we're gonna play this."

"Look, I told him if he won rock, paper, scissors shoot then we would play and well, he won." Donna stared at her hands. "Wow, look at my hands, they're like, woah!" Then she burst out giggling.

Hyde inhaled on his joint once more. "Fine, but I get to go first!"

"Yeah man!" Kelso exclaimed with joy.

Hyde poured them all shots and then sat for a moment. "Oh, I've got a good one." He said with a smirk on his face. "I've never been caught by anyone in the bathroom doing anything except going to the bathroom."

He stared directly at Eric who's faced turned crimson red. "Come on man!" Eric shouted.

Kelso burst out laughing and Donna punched his Eric's arm.

"What was that for?" Eric asked.

"You're an idiot, my hot body and our steamy sex should be enough!"

Eric grabbed his shot glass and downed his first shot of vodka. He shook his head, "Look, maybe we should mix this with something, this game will be over quickly if we keep doing it like this."

Hyde gave him a dirty look and Kelso looked puzzled. "Oh you're right, I'll go grabbed some orange juice!" Kelso bolted up the stairs.

Hyde reached across the table and punched Eric in the arm. "Nice going dumbass, now we're going to have to play this game longer."

Kelso ran back downstairs and they resumed the game, it was his turn next. He looked at Hyde and then winked. They knew it was more fun if they ganged up on one person and made them drunk off their ass. "Okay, I've never had sex with in anyone sitting here." Eric groaned and took a drink and so did Donna. Hyde moved to grab his glass too.

"What the hell Hyde? You and Donna?" He saw Eric's face becoming angry like Red whenever Red was mad. Then he began to laugh and gave Donna a high five.

"You were right," he said, "his face did turn bright red."

"Okay, fine asshole." Eric said. He thought for a moment and then turned to Kelso with a grin. "I've never done it with Jackie."

Hyde's whole body immediately became frozen and he knew Donna was looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He watched Kelso down some of his drink and then Hyde did something he never would have expected himself to do, he took his drink and did the same thing.

Eric and Kelso's eyes become large and confused. "Hyde, man, did you hear me? I said Jack-ie."

"Yeah I know what you said Forman." Hyde replied back smoothly.

"You've slept with Jackie?" Kelso asked angrily.

"What do you care man, you guys broke up like three years ago."

"But I love her!" Kelso shouted.

"No you don't." Hyde said.

Kelso paused for a moment and then began to laugh, "Yeah, you're right, I don't. Man, that was funny though, the whole, 'But I love her." Ha, god why am I so freaking hilarious?" he paused for a minute, but then remember what he had been talking about.

"Wait, wait, wait. **You,** slept with **Jackie**?" he asked again.

"Sleeping with!" Donna corrected.

Hyde shot her a glare but then she pointed to the joint in front of her. "You can't blame me, I'm in the circle!"

"Look guys, it's not a big deal, we sleep together. So what, we've been doing it for awhile and none of you idiots have figured it out, it doesn't change anything." He felt a pain in the pit of his stomach; he knew it was a big deal. He knew it was more than the sex.

"You knew and didn't tell me Donna?" Eric asked with an upset tone.

"Oh shut up, I found you in the bathroom pleasuring yourself!"

Hyde stood up from the circle and pulled out a cigarette and walked outside. He lit it up and exhaled away his worries, his confusion. The door creaked open a skinny figure appeared and sat down next him on the steps.

"Dude, it's like 20 degrees out here."

"Then go back inside." Hyde said.

"She's engaged Hyde." Eric said.

"I know."

"Do you get it though, she's supposed to be getting married. _Married_, man. What are you going to do then? I mean how long have you guys been sleeping together?"

Hyde leaned backed against the wall and took another drag of his cigarette. "Man, I feel like I just had this same exact conversation in this same exact place yesterday. Oh wait, I did." He said deadpanned.

Eric stood up, "Look, I'm just telling you to think about what you're doing. You're setting yourself up to be abandoned."

Hyde looked up at him as Eric walked back inside and then smacked his head against the wall. Here he was again, contemplating the same thing he always was contemplating. He thought back to that day only a few months back when everything changed.

_A few months ago…_

_The basement door slammed shut and Hyde looked up and saw her tear stained face. He immediately pulled off his glasses in concern as she ran over to him and fell into his arms sobbing._

_He gently rubbed her back, he had never been much good with comforting girls, anyone for that matter. Somehow with Jackie he was able to, maybe because she never expected him to say anything, do anything; just be sitting there with her while she cried seemed to always be enough._

"_What happened?" he whispered into her ear as her sobbing began to die down and just a few tears wear still running down her cheeks._

_She lifted her left hand and revealed the sparkling gem that lay on her ring finger._

_He took a deep breath, he had been preparing himself for this day for a few weeks now, he knew it was coming._

_She hid her hand away and he stroked her hair gently, "Look, we talked about this and we decided it would just be to complicated if you said no." he said softly._

"_I know." She whispered back. "I just, I don't ever want my wedding day to come." She said sadly._

_He looked at her and placed a kiss on her soft lips, and then held her tightly again. "I know, me either."_

His cigarette tasted particularly good on that frigid day. He was rather unpleased when he heard Donna yell for him.

"Hyde, get the hell in here!"

He stomped on his cigarette and walked back in. "What?" he asked annoyed.

They all looked like deer in headlights and Donna just pointed to the TV.

"This is Elizabeth Dawes reporting from in front of Mayor Burkhart's house. There has been a massive homicide here today… "

And Hyde felt his heart drop to the floor.

_.i.i.i._

_**Thank you so much to everyone who keeps reviewing, you really don't know how much I appreciate all of your support. I'm hoping that I'm still keeping this interesting and you're not becoming bored with it. I'm trying to make the chapters sort of long. I promise, promise, promise that despite the large gap there might be between updates, I will not abandon this fic, so please stay with me! I hate it when author's abandon fics, and I don't want to do that to my readers.**_

_**Thanks again guys, you're the greatest and please keep reviewing, you don't know how happy it makes me to see those 'reviewer alerts' in my inbox :)**_


	6. Chapter 5: Uncertainty Lies Ahead

_Chapter Six: Uncertainty Lies Ahead_

**A/N**: I'm very, very, very, VERY sorry about how long this chapter took to write and put out. It's sort of a pivotal moment in the story, but also one of the hardest parts to write. Still so much more to go though, I don't think I've even began to cover what I really want to in this fic, so this won't be ending any time soon. I don't honestly expect to update any time before next Friday, and even that's pushing it. Sorry guys! But I will be on vacation in a week, so, hopefully that will provide much more time to write! Thank you so much for all of your kind and positive reviews, I was rather surprised at how many I received, and they made me feel so good, so, thank you so much! Please keep reviewing; it keeps me writing :)

**Rating**: The rating might be R here for some adult situations, basically, if you're not comfortable with that kind of stuff, I wouldn't recommend reading this fic, because I don't think you'll like it!

…

Hyde hated waiting.

When he was little, he would wait for his father to step through the front door. He imagined that he would open his arms and cry, "Steven! I've missed you so much!" Then on his fifth birthday, after receiving a piece of beef jerky in the mail from his father as his gift, he realized he needed to stop waiting for him.

So he did.

He always waited for his mother to come home every night though. There he sat on their tattered couch, waiting for his drunken mother to stumble in the door. Despite the fact she was usually so drunk or high she didn't even notice him in the room, it gave him a sense of security that she always came back.

And then one day, she didn't.

Hyde never had to wait for Jackie. It was actually one of the things that had first drawn him to her that summer when they first started sleeping together. Every day, she was there the same time without fail. Every time she said she would be somewhere, she was always there.

And he loved that about her.

Now, for the first time, there he sat, waiting. Surprisingly, he had subsided his urge to cry and those tears that had threatened to fall down his face so many hours ago had traveled back inside, to be kept far away and not be shown again. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around a bit startled to be pulled out of his daze. There Donna stood, looking at him nervously and tired.

"Hey." She said sort of timidly.

He nodded at her, not having the energy to speak any words at that moment.

"So, I just talked to the doctor and he said that she's sleeping, and but that we can go in one at a time to see her if we want. And well, I figured you might want to go before me."

He pulled off his sunglasses and allowed his eyes to reveal the thankfulness he felt but could not express in words.

She gave a sad smile and pointed down the corridor to where the doctor was standing.

The doctor held out his hand, "I'm Dr. Lewis."

"Steven Hyde."

"Well, Steven…" Hyde cringed slightly at the use of his first name, it usually was only uttered through the lips of Mrs. Forman or Jackie. "She's in pretty bad condition, she was beaten badly and I just need you to prepare yourself."

Hyde paused a moment before going down towards the door that separated his body and heart. He looked in the doctor's eyes for a moment, dreading the response the question he was about to ask. "She wasn't just strangled, was she?"

The look on Dr. Lewis' face was enough to let Hyde know the answer to his question with out words.

Silence, it had always been the communication he had known the best.

"That son of a bitch." Hyde muttered furious under his breath. "Do they have any clue who it was?"

"Even if they did, I'm not sure they would tell me their leads. And well, they don't want anyone taking matters into their own hands."

Hyde nodded his head and walked to the door and peered in the window. There she lay, his chick, her face bruised and her hair all mused. Although she lay still and looked rather peaceful, Hyde knew better. He knew that sleeping position, for he had seen it almost every night for the past two years.

He took a deep breath and stepped inside, listening to the monitor beep monotonously. He grabbed a chair as it screeched across the floor. The room was rather dark, only a tiny lamp and the illuminating moon provided light that shadowed across her face. He sat down, unsure of what his reaction should be. He could not bring himself to cry in sadness or smile in relief. He felt blank, useless.

Her fists were clenched and he took her left hand, gently removing her fingers from the fist and laced them through his own. He gently kissed her the back of her hand and saw her body relax and inwardly smiled, knowing, that she was calming.

…

"_Please, please, don't." she whispered in a pitiful plea._

_The stone cold gray eyes inspected her body. He had long since ripped off her dress and now stared at her milky body, covered only in a bra and underwear. He watched the goose bumps from fear rise on her skin and he dragged his fingernail along her thigh._

_She gasped slightly in disgust and utter horror as his fingertips grazed the hem of her underwear. "No, no, no." she sobbed quietly, "Please don't."_

_He grinned vicariously at her, "I wouldn't scream if I were you." He pointed to the knife sitting on the table. She struggled to against the ropes he had tied her wrists down with._

_He ran his dry and calloused finger along her porcelain skin and smirked, "You're mother might have satisfied me enough if only she hadn't screamed. Hmm, what a pity I had to shoot her before I had my way with her."_

_She felt him become slightly aroused as he ran his finger along the seem of her bra on her breast and felt warm tears pulsate down her cheeks._

_She knew there was no escaping._

…

Hyde continued to just stare at her as he watched her breathing change all of a sudden to faster pace. He was then greeted with her terrified aqua marine pools bursting open, with fresh tears already on the tips of her eyelashes. She looked completely petrified until she met his eyes.

"Steven?" she whispered.

"I'm right here babe." He said standing up and placing his arms gently around her.

She sobbed harder then she had ever remembered crying in her whole entire life that moment on his chest. He stroked he hair gently and didn't say a word. She echoed throughout the room as she continued to relieve her pain.

Slowly, her sobs subsided to a steady flow of tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at him and he took his right hand and wiped away a few of the escaping droplets soothingly.

"Steven, he, I mean…" she looked up at him, a mixture of disgust and shame in her eyes.

"I know." He said pulling her in closer to his body. "You don't have to say anymore."

And there they stayed, embracing one another, wondering, where did they go from there? Was there some place ahead that they could reach for or was this a moment to remain frozen in time forever?

Uncertainty frightened both of them, but the truth of their problems only began to plague them.

…

**_Please, please, please, keep leaving me reviews. I don't think you'll ever know how much they mean to me! Thanks guys!_**


	7. Chapter 6: Never Trust a Stranger

_Chapter Six: Never Trust a Stranger_

**A/N**: _I know, I know, it's been forever since I've updated, but unfortunately, life sometimes gets in the way of things I'd much rather be doing. Luckily, with a short vacation right now, I've had time to write this chapter, and hopefully another one before next week. I hope that you continue to read this piece, despite the lack in quick updates. Thank you for those of you who review all of my chapters; I seriously can't even express how much I appreciate it. I suppose the hardest part of writing for me is usually I don't have a set story and just write each chapter by how I feel, so I honestly have no idea what the ending is going to be. We'll have to see I suppose! Once again, thank you everyone :)_

…

The moment the woman in the white coat walked in the door, she knew. It was the fucking psychiatrist's turn to psycho analyze her. She tried hard to not roll her eyes as the woman tapped her pen continuously against her clipboard, seeming as if she was about to embark on something rather important.

Jackie knew that it was just the fact that this doctor was going to be able to say she had psycho analyzed the dead mayor's daughter.

She looked up from under her glasses, which Jackie figured must be for appearances more than anything. "Jacqueline Burkhart?" she asked as if she wasn't sure that she had the right patient.

"What do you think?" Jackie replied icily.

The psychiatrist looked slightly startled. "I'm, uh, Dr. Louise Walden." Jackie knew she expected to find a broken girl, someone ready to give them her heart and emotions, as if this was her life-changing event.

She knew that she would forever be haunted by that night, but she wasn't about to expose her inner demons to some stranger she had never met in her whole life. She always knew what the psychiatrist's wanted to hear, she had been to plenty before after being forced by her parents. She knew how to put on a façade. But today, she was too tired to play around, she just wanted the woman to leave. The sooner she left, the quicker she could be released from this fucking place.

"Well, umm, Ms. Burkhart, it seems as if you've been through a lot these past few days."

"I had no idea." Jackie said sarcastically.

"Fine." The psychiatrist said fed up, "I know you don't want to do this, but if you want to be released any time soon, you'd better talk a little, because I can keep you here even longer."

"So much for being caring and sympathetic." Jackie said with a smirk. She stood up off the bed and leaned against the wall. "I know what you want to hear. 'Oh, I'm a mess, I just need to find myself, help me please…' blah, blah, blah. Who cares about that bullshit." She said.

"I do." The woman said. "Whether or not you believe, I do care about you. I know you must feel like you have no one in the world right now who does, but I am here for you."

Jackie let out a little laugh. "Are you happy to have that out of your system now? You don't know shit about me. I hated my parents and could give a fuck that they're dead. My fiancé was a lying and cheating man whore. Everyone who died was a fake and insignificant part of my life, **doctor**."

Louise shook her head. "So now you're oh so brave, huh? You can't tell me you were an angel that didn't do anything wrong."

Jackie seemed felt caught off guard. No one had ever talked to her straightly like that, except Steven.

"I'm sorry, you don't know anything about me." Jackie said stiffly.

"That's exactly why I'm here Ms. Burkhart. No matter who they send in here after me, in order to be released you're going to have to agree to some therapy, with me or some other doctor, okay? Now, I can promise you that I'm not going to break the patient/doctor confidentiality we have no matter what, and that's a lot more than I can say about most of the psychiatrists in this hospital. Are you going to trust me or not?"

Jackie had fallen into a chair and looked up at the tall blonde who stood in front of her. "I don't trust you yet, but I guess I can agree to the rest of it for now."

Louise gave a smile. "Good, now I'm just going to ask you some simple questions about yourself okay."

"Fine." Jackie said frowning.

"What are the most important things in your life right now?" Louise asked.

Jackie paused a moment and though. She loved her cigs, they were important. She was especially craving them, because it had been days since she had smoked **anything**, what she wouldn't give for a good joint or cigarette.

"I love to smoke." Jackie stated.

Louise looked up skeptically, "So you're telling me, the only thing that's important to is cigarettes? No people, hobbies?"

Jackie sighed. Steven, he was important to her most of all. All of her friends. Donna, Fez, Michael, even Eric. "Well, I have a group of friends that I suppose I consider my family."

Louise smiled at the slight progress she had made. "Okay, so what are their names?"

"Well, Donna is my best friend. Although, it bothers me that she dresses like a lumberjack still after all these years. I was convinced some of my good taste would rub off on her eventually, but I suppose I should have known better when she and Eric became engaged."

"Who's Eric?" Louise asked.

"He's Donna's fiancé. We're kind of 'fake' enemies, we act like we hate each other more than anything, but I guess, deep down I really consider him a friend. Plus his parents are like my surrogate parents, seeing as his basement has been our hangout for, well, forever." Jackie continued to ramble not realizing how much she was revealing.

Louise nodded her head as Jackie continued talking about her friends. "Then there's Fez. He's from some country. He's good at planning parties. And well, there's Michael."

Jackie stopped for a moment.

"What about Michael?" Louise asked.

"I don't want to really talk about him." Jackie said. "I don't trust you yet."

"Fair enough."

"And then there's, well, there's Steven." Jackie said deeply.

Louise noticed the look in Jackie's eyes when she mentioned him and noted to herself to continue on more about him eventually. "Okay. Is that it?"

"I guess." Jackie stared at the clock on the wall. "Are we done yet or what?"

"I suppose. I'll make you a deal Jackie." Louise said. "I'll let you be released tomorrow, if you agree to two sessions a week with me for six weeks."

Jackie stared at her incredulously. "Are you kidding to me? You think that because I told you about my friends, that I'm going to tell you more?"

"That's the deal or nothing." Louise said.

Jackie looked up at her fiercely. "You're a bitch, you know that?"

"Yeah, whatever." Louise said nonchalantly. "I'll let you think about it tonight and I'll be back tomorrow." She walked out the door and closed it gently.

Jackie threw her head against the pillow on the bed. Who the fuck did that psychiatrist think she was? She felt a few tears roll down her cheeks and she walked over to the mirror on the wall and stared at herself.

Her porcelain skin was now blotchy and red from her tears. Her eyes held the sadness that had always lingered there, but it seemed more evident now, standing in this cell of a room. She touched the bruise on her cheek, which had faded a little since that fateful night. It was the only physical scar remaining to remind her of her night of horror. What had happened to her? She looked at herself and saw failure, despair, hate. She could not remember a time when she was truly beautiful.

A few more tears rolled down her cheek as she quickly tried to wipe them away. She heard a slight knock at the door and with her back turned motioned for whomever it was to come in. She continued to try to hide her tears when she heard a raspy, warm voice whisper, "Jacks?"

She turned to see Steven staring at her; she walked over to him and threw her face in his chest so her could not see her tears. "Hey, hey, it's okay." He whispered into her ear as he gently touched her back.

She looked up at him and whispered back, "No Steven, it's not. Everything is so messed up, I don't know what to do, I just want to get out of here, but I have nowhere to go. I don't have a home, a family, anything." The water continued to dribble down her cheeks and he took his thumb to wipe the tears away and slowly kissed her forehead.

"It's okay babe, you've got me." He said gently.

"You're the only one that understands and they won't let me out of her until I agree to fucking therapy. How the fuck am I supposed to tell a stranger my problems, when hardly anyone I care about knows them?" she spat out angrily. "All I want is a fucking cigarette."

"I don't know what to tell you." He said thoroughly unsure of what to say. "Maybe you should just agree to it to get out of here, I know you hate everything about this place."

She looked up at him and he stroked the side of her face sweetly. She shivered internally, missing his touch, his lips. She hadn't gone this long without sex and his body in awhile, and she missed him so much.

She cupped his face in her hands and gave him a tiny kiss and then placed her forehead against his. "Okay." She said defeated.

"Okay." He replied back.

She sighed and he pulled her into a hug and she never felt so much at home.

…

Dr. Walden realized she had forgotten Jackie's chart in her room and turned around to go and retrieve it. When she was a few feet away she noticed a curly haired man embracing Jackie and saw Jackie crying, yet somehow she looked comforted. She was intrigued, but decided to come back later, allowing Jackie a few moments of inner peace.

…

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